Monday, April 8, 2013

How to... apologize.

The "How To" series - This blog series focuses on helping men with the "how to's" of living a God-Centered life.

#3 - How To... apologize.

One thing we all struggle with is going to someone and telling them WE were wrong...

We never have a problem telling someone else how THEY were wrong but how about when we blow it.  How do we take responsibility and apologize when we have done something  wrooo... wroooooooo...  wrooooooooooooooong?  Whew! Got that out.  

In Matthew Chapter 5, Jesus tells us what we need to do when we are wrong and need to make something right...

21 “You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not murder; and whoever murders will be liable to judgment.’ 22 But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment; whoever insults his brother will be liable to the council; and whoever says, ‘You fool!’ will be liable to the hell of fire. 23 So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, 24 leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.

Here are some practical how to's when we remember we need to apologize...

1) Own it.  Stop trying to put it on someone or something else.  If you were wrong then step up and own it as your fault.  Children blame others.  An adult takes responsibility for themselves.   

2) Admit it.  Thinking it may be one thing but saying it out loud and hearing yourself say it is totally another matter.  (You could practice in front of the mirror or with a friend.  Sound fun?  Not really.) 

3) Confess it.  Go to the person you wronged and tell them you were wrong and you apologize.  Attitude is everything.  If you don't mean it then it doesn't count!  Also, let them tell you anything they need to.  Be sure to listen without justifying anything.  Those of you in recovery know this as "making amends".  

4) Make it right.  Ask them what you can do to make it right.

Thank God for the grace He gave you to take a courageous step.  Be someone who is always quick to make it right when you have done wrong.  

Dare to dream. Dare to do. Dare to be!

Tom Michaels Zahradnik is a minister and chaplain who serves as CEO of Sound of Life, Inc.  You can connect with Tom at Rubicon Ministries by going to  Tom and his wife, Cathleen, host the monthly Cross Your Rubicon podcast.  Cathleen also hosts the blog, "Real Life Chats", focused on helping women build a God-centered life.

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